Picture this for a moment: There is a family gathering and someone, let’s call him Talker, is less than sensitive during a conversation — maybe too honest, maybe forgetting that adults, unlike children, filter conversation for the sake of peace and harmony.
One thing leads to another, and Talker hurls careless words like blades. Words directed at another family member and it’s obvious they cut deep — unnecessarily so.
Some folks detest lack of sensibility in any situation, let alone in a party setting. So, they pull Talker aside and say: “Cut it out. Grow up. Show some tact.” That leads to additional words, none pleasant. Things are eventually worked out, but resentment builds like a distant storm.
Feelings are hurt, egoes are trampled upon, and silence replaces laughter for a while.
Eventually, everyone is back to talking, having fun. There is laughter, but it’s never the same for some participants. They go home with this heavy feeling — Talker was wrong … but maybe, just maybe, they should have kept quiet. Should not have said everything they said to him. Trying to see both sides, maybe there’s more to the story — a nuance they don’t know. Is there?
To right a ‘wrong’ — this is family, after all — calls are made, apologies offered. We want the bad feeling to stop. Value relationship more than ego. There’s guilt. So many reasons to call.
We’re comforted by the words we hear, by the promises made. Everything is fine. Maybe. Lingering doubt remains, but peace of mind feels so good.
So, what say you? Apologies: force them out, regardless of the situation, to make bad feelings go away?
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Photo credits:
Peace Out Art Print by Skye Zambrana | Society6; artofagoodapology.jpg; i_wouldn__t_trust_you_anyway_by_mssirpercy