Gone ~ A to Z Blogging Challenge

GONE041[1] - Copy

Aunt Mary

Life Views

There are no guarantees in life. We do our best: eat well, look both ways before crossing the street, but still no guarantees. Grief happens, and it hits hard. 

Aunt Mary had a huge impact on my life — a mother in every sense of the word. When she became ill, we had numerous conversations while she was undergoing cancer treatment. She insisted, as only Moms do, we don’t mourn because she’d lived a long, happy life. Of course, when it all happened the heart decided what to do, independent of analytical thought.

How this Pertains to the Story

The reason Zoe Sinclair returns to her small town in Stranger or Friend is her mother, Rosemary. She is not well, and Zoe takes on the thousand-mile telecommute to be near.

Mother is also adamant about treatment choices. She doesn’t want surgery. She knows the risk and doesn’t want to die all cut up on the operating table should something go wrong. If this is her time to go, she wants to be at home, in her bed. Like my aunt. But Zoe is not ready to let her go, one of her arguments from the heart being, There is nothing wrong with living on borrowed time.

The book is about much more, but this is one of the revealing moments. So, the question becomes: when a loved one, an elderly person, refuses potentially life-saving treatment what do we do?

Not really a question, that wouldn’t be fair, more like a questioning statement, and I promise to lighten up as we go on. :) Tomorrow’s post is H for Home.  See you then.

17 responses to “Gone ~ A to Z Blogging Challenge

  1. It’s a good question many families have to face. I hope in my family when someone says, “I’ve lived a good life and I don’t want that treatment or surgery.” We will make sure we understand the consequences and give that person the dignity to make their own choice. It’s not about us and our grief as much as it is letting them live their own.

  2. I think we talked about Aunt Mary when I first met you. It is so difficult to be left here without those who loved and nurtured us. I am glad you had her in your life and share her with us.

  3. These are discussions we have to have and decisions we have to make. I don’t look forward to the moments when things like this have to be dealt with, but I guess that’s why we think about it beforehand.

  4. Grief is a necessary and unavoidable part of life.
    Play off the Page

  5. New reader here, dropping by from A to Z.

    Nice to meet you, Silvia!

    2015 A to Z Challenge Co-Host
    Matthew MacNish from The QQQE

  6. Hi Silvia .. I’m so pleased you had your Aunt Mary for as long as you did .. and I think we have to respect their wishes … my mother made her choices and I was grateful she did live on borrowed time for five years .. she never complained and we were able to chat and just be together … easier for me being on my own, I could cope … once I’d adjusted … Excellent you’ve written her into Zoe’s life .. cheers Hilary

  7. Good to meet you, Silvia. Looking forward to more of your posts

  8. Ohhhhhh Silvia. I do SO need to have you read my story, :Two Faces of Death” that I’m working on as it is true and about my family experiences. It may shock you, but it definitely talks to your question… what do you do?

  9. If a relative refuses treatment… Well, that’s their choice, isn’t it?

  10. I almost didn’t read this because I was afraid I might find out if mom makes it in the book. I love the tension created by mom’s condition and Zoe’s concern.

  11. So very and quintessentially human, Sylvia. It’s hard to accept death as a part of life, but you did it very, very well in your book.

  12. This was one aspect of your book that ‘got me’ the most. In terms of how frustrating it must have been for Zoe (and her sister) that Mother didn’t want to receive any treatment. A hard one to bear… #AtoZChallenge

  13. I was so upset with my dad when he decided to make out a Do Not Resuscitate form when he was in the hospital. I guess I was being selfish but I just didn’t want to lose him. I have lost both my parents now…it’s really tough!

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