Insecure Writer’s Support Group


Writing is my passion, so it certainly is nice to be in a writers’ group. This is my first post for the IWSG, so please bear with me as take the first steps. And as I’m a bit early.

For me, writing has long been synonymous with insecurity. I’d like to meet a writer who’s completely confident about his/her success in the writing world.

We all heard DeNiro’s words at the Oscars, if not by watching the ceremony probably by logging into Facebook or Twitter: “The mind of a writer can be a truly frightening thing …”

Writers create art, and sometimes this creation comes from experiences or memories or accounts best left unexplored. But the process can also be most satisfying — especially when the right words come flooding out — at least until the next moment of doubt.

But to address the subject at hand here  — a writer’s insecurity — the biggest setback, for me, is when a rejection letter pops into my inbox.

And after a success story last month, that’s what my email held yesterday — a rejection. Not as generic as past letters with a quick your story is not for us line. Now, there’s room for future collaboration with we hope that you will continue to send us your work from the editor. Or maybe that’s the new normal.  

I don’t know a good way to get past feelings of dejection. Do you?

One way I deal with it, though not always successfully, is by querying again the same day. Luckily, sadness doesn’t last — not when there’s another story in me, fighting for attention.  

Doubt is not all bad. It pulls me out of the make-believe world I create and deposits me back into the reality of family, work. Then a time to look at the story again, reevaluate.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, your success stories. Or anything else, for that matter.

As a side note, I won’t be able to post on this subject during April, (hope that’s not a problem), as Blogging from A to Z is just around the corner.

My very best,                                                                                           Silvia.


29 responses to “Insecure Writer’s Support Group

  1. Rejection. I’m a pro at it (receiving it, that is). Yes, I do think that when you get a rejection send it elsewhere. This gives hope. And hope is always uplifting.
    You know what they say: those who get published are those who didn’t quit.
    Lots of luck to you:)

  2. Great post Sylvia thank you! Dealing with rejection is surely strengthening – stiffening the spine etc! When those ‘acceptance’ ones come round it makes rejection pale into insignificance. And remember, 100’s of successful authors were once rejected …

  3. First, congrats on your initial IWSG post…and a great topic. I have to admit to doing a lot of that 15+ years ago when I took my first stab at fiction writing. It’s tough but if you really are a writer, you keep on going. Enjoy the small victories (keep sending submissions) and don’t give up!!

  4. Hi there and welcome to IWSG :D Sorry for commenting through FB, but WordPress doesn’t play well in the sandbox with Blogger. My blog is if your curious.

    I’ve found over the past five years, rejection is just part of our writerly life. Sure it stings when you get the email (or letter) but writers have to apply a bit of salve, and move on to the next. I like how you counter a rejection with another query. Good for you!!

  5. I don’t think “send more work” is the new normal. I believe they say that because they saw something they liked in your writing, even though that particular story was “not for them.” And hey, they said it, so I’d take them for there word and query them in the future!
    I think to get past rejection/dejection, you’re right, you have to do something positive–query someone else, work on a story you love (well, don’t you love them all :-) ), look at your past successes.

  6. Elizabeth Seckman

    Welcome to the IWSG! There is no cure for rejection. WE all get it and it never feels good. Even when an editor says yes, there is the rejection of a bad review. You seem to have the heart of a writer and already understand, the yes or no doesn’t mean half as much as the creation process. Good luck with all your queries.

  7. melissamaygrove

    Oh yes. I live for the times the inspiration is flowing so fast that my typing hands can’t keep up with my brain. Don’t we all!

    As far as rejection goes, I can’t help you there. I’m going indie, and partly for that reason. It’s true that just because one queries doesn’t mean one’s ready, but I see lots of good writers with good stories get rejected over and over and go through an emotional meat grinder.

    Uh uh. Not for me. I’ve paid my dues and honed my craft and I’m putting my work out there. Let the readers be the gatekeepers.

    Sorry to get on a soapbox my first time here. *blush*
    Welcome to the group! :)

    IWSG #268 (until Alex culls the list again or I goof and get myself deleted. :P)

  8. I remember how happy I was the first time I got a personalized rejection. No one – other than my husband – understood how big a deal that was, how it was almost good news. Ah, the life of a writer. :)

  9. Yes, definitely keep querying, Silvia. If numbskulls like me can get published…
    Hey, I had enough rejections to wallpaper my ensuite before I finally found a publisher!

    Happy IWSG and welcome.

  10. Sylvia: I try to look at those rejections in the light that I had the courage to write something I believed in enough to send it out and that someone had actually read it (or at least part of it.) Sometime, somewhere a piece will land and stay. My first published essay sat on the editor’s desk for an entire year before he contacted me. Who knows how they decide…it’s very subjective and just a mite bit competitive. Besides, it’s not really a rejection but another bit of encouragement that says “we can do better.” So write we will, for if we don’t, we always wonder “what if?”

  11. Hi Silvia, Thanks for posting a comment on my blog. I loved the Bob Marley quote. I’m new to IWSG and new to writing to get published. I am writing my first novel. So much to know, so much to learn. My first goal is to just get a rough draft done. Rejection is not fun, but I have not had to deal with it yet. I have not put any of my writing out there, but I am planning to send out some flash fiction and short stories in the near future.

    Here is a quote for you from Ray Bradbury “You fail only if you stop writing”, and another fave for me from Joyce Carol Oates “The first sentence can be written only after the last sentence has been written. First drafts are hell. Final drafts, PARADISE.”

    Happy Writing
    Juneta at Writer’s Gambit

  12. I don’t think you can call yourself a serious writer if you’ve never received a rejection letter. (Unless, of course, you’re still working on your first novel.) And it’s always wonderful to get a personalize rejects. Sometimes, the comments can help you know what to focus on. Great post. =)

  13. Welcome to IWSG! One of the biggest lessons a writer has to learn is to never give up as long as you have a story to tell. The difference between an aspiring writer and an author is often just perseverance. Thanks for reminding all of us of this.

  14. Welcome to the crew :) thats definitely a good tactic, dont dwell on rejection when theres another opportunity, if you keep working away at it your bound to break through :)

  15. I haven’t had to deal with too many rejection notices yet, but that’s only because I haven’t submitted much yet. My time will come! You’re spot on with the insecurity–it’s something I struggle with daily, and I imagine those struggles are going be even more challenging when the rejection letters start appearing in my mailbox. We do persevere, though, don’t we? Because, really, there’s no other reasonable choice. :)

  16. You’re a storyteller, defined by the words you weave and the passion behind them, not the rejections. Use those to fuel your drive to succeed and prove them wrong.
    WriterlySam Join the A to Z Theme Reveal Party!

  17. Rejection sure does toughen your skin, doesn’t it? But the rejection you received was for a solitary submission. It sounds like they like your writing style and voice, but the project you sent them was not a right fit for their present lineup. Good for you!

  18. Silvia, It is normal for a writer to get rejected. It’s not bad. It doesn’t mean that you wrote bad. It is what that you need to put a little more focus on words. You wrote, “right words come flooding out”. It’s just like all fishes are fishes but eye-catching is only golden fish, not all. Do you think so? If yes then stay in blogsphere. Do not worry about delay, everything takes time.

    A good way to get past feelings of dejection…

    It is more than easy, Silvia. Join couple of communities where editors provide room to everyone beside focusing on quality writings. Just like me, you may join YeahWrite.Me It’s my second week there and I enjoy with many good bloggers who write and writers who blog.

    Recent challenge has ended, I’m not successful but I’m in the row of “accepted” writers. There is another grid, called MoonShine. You can submit there whatever you want. And, what I want you submit this article. There is no rejection. Here we go I’ll be glad to see you there. Stay in touch!


  19. Insecurity is not the exclusive domain of writers. I believe that all creative minds harbor insecurity. Without it we become complacent and complacency leads to staleness.

    Insecurity is another nutrient that helps the flower of creativity to blossom. Rejection makes us tougher when we accept it, learn from it, and move forward.

    I’m going to incorporate an #IWSG post into an #atozchallenge post. It can all go together when you approach it the write way. I also will be incorporating another blogging event into a couple A to Z posts.

    Wrote By Rote
    An A to Z Co-host blog

  20. I’ve always planned to wallpaper a room with rejections – at least my writing office – but I haven’t submitted enough to even cover a wall. My day will come. :-)
    debi oneille, writing against the wind at

  21. I’m just trying to figure out if I should be logging in through a Google account or a Facebook account to leave a comment. Someday I will understand all of this technology. :-)

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